Investing is, apparently, like a lot of very different things. Here is a not-even-exhaustive list of the things to which investing has been analogized:
- Investing is like golf. —American Century (Howard Marks also wrote using this same simile)
- Investing is like a triathlon. —Forbes
- Investing is like skiing. —Blue Chip Digital
- Investing is like Formula One. —Money Magazine (Australia)
- Investing is like a bar of soap. —Seeking Alpha
- Investing is like fishing. —Hedgeye
- Investing is like playing baseball with no called strikes. —Eagle Point Capital
- Investing is like tennis. —Coronado Times
- Investing is like planting an oak tree. —Callie Cox
- Successful investing is like scuba diving. —Ann Wilson
- Investing is like football. —Lauren Rudd, Sarasota Herald-Tribune
- Investing is like learning to ride a bicycle. —Channel News Asia
- Investing is like following a treasure map. —Masters Financial Group
- Investing is like chess – not roulette. —The Economic Standard
- Investing is like driving a car. —Robert Kiyosaki
- Investing is like long-distance running. —iShares
- Investing is like cooking. —Kiplinger’s
- Investing is like watching grass grow. —Paul Samuelson
- Investing is like shopping in a grocery store. —Zoe Financial
- Investing is like farming. —Raymond James
- Investing is like dieting. —Raffa Investment Advisers
- Investing is like cooking. —Seeking Alpha
- Investing is like driving your car. —Colorado Biz Magazine
- Investing is like toothpaste. —Macco Financial Group
- Investing is like dating. —Hustle Fund
- Investing is like baking. —Rooted Planning Group
- Investing is like rugby. —Carbon Financial
- Investing is like working out. —Kevin Brown
- Investing is like owning a small business. —The Globe and Mail
- Investing is like horse racing. —Orange County Register
- Investing is like sailing. —The Times
- Long-term investing is like a marathon. —Jerusalem Post
- Investing is like chess. —Seth Klarman
- Investing is like religion. —Investing Caffeine
- Investing is like Sports Illustrated. —Snider Advisors
What about the stock market more broadly?
- Investing in the stock market is like fantasy football. —Yahoo! Finance
- Investing in the stock market is analogous to crossing the ocean. —Guideway Financial
- The stock market is like a soap opera. —WH Cornerstone
- The stock market is like an online supermarket. —Investopedia
- The stock market is like a grove of fruit trees. —Mint.com
- The stock market is like Picasso’s Cubist period. —Investing.com
- The stock market is like guessing the weight of a cow. —PlanetMoney
- The stock market is like a living, breathing organism. —Wall Street Survivor
- The stock market is like a casino (and that’s a good thing). —Empire Financial Research
- The stock market is like a roller coaster. —WHTR.com
- The stock market is like a deep forest, filled with cleared pathways, hidden snares, and an ever-present sense of the unexpected. —Reuters
- Investing in the stock market is like wanting to win the Tour de France. —Easyvest
What’s the stock market not like, you may be wondering?
- Investing is not like golf. —Strategic Financial Services
- Investing is not like buying a refrigerator. —Smedley Financial
- Investing is not like gambling. —Fairmont Equities
- Investing is not like rock climbing. —Investors Chronicle
- Investing is not like football. —The Evidence-Based Investor
- Investing is not like March Madness. —David Trainer
- Investing in the stock market is not like playing Call of Duty. —Evening Standard
I majored in English back in college, and I’ve spent nearly two decades in/around the investment industry. I very much appreciate that similes can make abstract concepts more tangible—but even I am beginning to roll my eyes at the pervasiveness of these sorts of articles.
Not because I don’t think these writers are trying to be helpful…
I also appreciate the commonality in all of these similes: The writers are trying to make a complex subject less so. There’s some finance language that is intended to keep people out—dripping with shorthand lingo, meant to sound more complicated than it needs to be—not unlike an insiders’ language. These examples are the opposite of that.
Even with what I assume to be well-intentioned investment writers or practitioners, there’s finance language—like the investing-is-like similes above—that is intended to demystify a complex topic. It’s just that, I think in trying to demystify, it can cause further confusion. Investing is like this, or that. Or it’s like the opposite of those things.
Investing is like everything, and that helps no one.
—Brian Richards
I have written, co-written, or edited hundreds of investment articles that live on the internet. A Google search to uncover whether I’ve written any similes in the style above turned up zero results—phew.